2008

To the man who makes my coffee:

I know this is nit-picky. I worked at a coffee shop for a long time and I should know better than to...

He'll probably be like, 'Vote for me and I'll...

“When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. ...”
— quote from Bob Hope, from the...

About Michael Phelps...

Apparently, my friend Miriam wants to punch him in the face because he beat up a friend’s...

Catherine: So, in order of excitedness:
Catherine: 1. Having the weekend off.
Catherine: 2. Shopping for clothes.
Catherine: 3. Dancing.
Catherine: 4. Hangover the next day.
Catherine: The gap between 3 and 4 is pretty big though.

Hippocamp

Last night I had a dream that Jake Gyllenhaal was reporting live from a beach on the Gulf coast....

“I love that minton, by the way. Its so bad it’s good.”
— Kevin

“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch...”
— Anonymous (via...

anjalouise: Some new things in my etsy shop. 15% off sale...

Dear New York City snake owner,

annamarie: Hi.  I am not afraid of snakes, actually I am severely snake phobic.  Yes, it is an...

Scrapbooking is so silly. Look at this! The only portion of...

You know what? I totally have a crush on Stringer Bell. I...

Robot Jessica

I had a massive copy project to complete on Friday afternoon. A foot-tall pile of documents, every...

Degrassi: The Next Generation

There have been a lot of mentions of D:TNG lately and I just want to say: I LOVE THAT SHOW!...

Sunday:

Laundry: Done. Bedroom: Clean. Nap: Taken. Badminton: Played. Pitchers: Shared. I feel like I...

“What if this was the event you were great at? Like,...”
— Catherine, on the...

I had no idea....

the trampoline was an Olympic event! Wouldn’t it be awesome if the competitors yelled...

Four Digits

I cannot remember my bike lock combination! I know it is four digits. I picked it four years ago, so...

“I dream of the thinking woman’s Gwen Stefani, whoever that...”
—  My coworker Niti (via oomb)

ianlee: this is the most accurate i’ve ever seen this...

gregcbrown: Look at this chump.

Just back from a lunchtime Forever 21 binge with Kay. That store…

I’m feeling mushy.

How Sneetches get stars upon thars.

Divine hammer loop

magicmolly: A wood chipper! Have you ever seen one? They are exactly as they appear in...

sharingtime: I think “To Catch a Predator” would be a better show if Chris Hansen tried to entrap...

Garbage

Remember that Victorian I was all excited about yesterday? Well, I rode by it last night and it...

Real classy, guys.

Listen

sarazucker: styling: duplo jessicawas my first styling in...

“So, the character i play is a Native American, but super...”
— Yoji, one of my favorite...

Hello Jessica,Thanks for your interest!  I will be having an open house at the apartment on Sunday...

theloveyturtle: I saw my friendly office stalker today. While waving at me he walked directly into a...

omg

Been refreshing Craigslist all morning. Victorian duplex, upstairs unit, bay windows, SUN ROOM,...

Serious question...

Why is it that the top three videos, the ones up for the ten thousand dollar prize, on...

“But going out and getting stupidly laid and then coming home...”
— Jane Smiley: My Edwards Diary,...

Just started following Look Mom. Funny lady who posts pictures of cute home decor? Could this be...

Instead of buying Dove Cool Essentials when I was out of deodorant this time, I bought Dove...

faildogs: Dog credit: Catherine I know this dog! This is...

happypancake: Jordan and I did the bridge pedal this morning...

I want to live here.

Disgruntled

Waiting at the bus stop earlier today, I heard someone behind me proclaim, loudly in a voice tinged...

billcameron: My dad with his second book! Hey!

Mom and dad circa ‘92? I think? hahaha! Nice hat.

Found in box of stuff from my mom’s house. ‘88...

So, I received a new j.crew catalog the other day. I like...

joshmohrer: Will Schneider is really good. I would hang...

A follow-up to my post about Portland

(This one) In general, I feel proud of my city. It’s exciting when the New York Times does a...

I bought some fake glasses recently, but I lost them. Fortunately, I can wear my fake contacts until...

Broad Generalizations: Jessicas Are All...

Ugh

My boss and I were just looking at a map when I snorted and shot a booger out of my nose. I...

I know it's selfish...

but sometimes I wish people would stop moving to Portland. If you’re thinking about moving...

Gearhart Plane Crash

This story is so scary and sad. Just trying to imagine what it must have been like for the Masoudis,...

joshuatuscan: Huge scale model of Shangai as projected in...

“Hi Jessica, it’s Amanda and I’m calling from McFaddens and...”
— Uh, what? McFaddens is a...

Home Alone

Everyone in my office is out of town. I’m all alone! I celebrated by wearing a dress I would...

Strange dream. Please analyze.

jackieheartsb: I am an intern (I think) on a research vessel with water pens containing sharks for...

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/apa/781824589.html Really? Someone will pay $850 for an apartment...

God Here. Couldn’t help but notice that today was a bit of a doozy. Anyway, when I got to...

“Have I mentioned how much I love to embroider? It’s...”
— Heather Bailey I’ve had...

MURRAY: Woman, lend me five dollars. DIONNE: Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me...

Bite Locations

Feet: 5 Legs: 2 Butt: 1 Stomach: 2 Arms: 3 Neck/Shoulders: 3 Scalp: 1 Face: 2 Tramp stamp region:...

Mosquitoes

I went camping this weekend and came home with a ton of mosquito bites. It got me thinking, I...

Somewhere in Tigard lies a tiny,...

turbosub: I closed the stroller, and felt sort of a sharp pain on my finger but thought nothing of...

Fail Dogs

Funny common Fail Dog themes: Guilty looking dog caught in the act of some sort of misbehavior...

DEpressing

disapprovingmonkey: nudawn: antikris: I cannot poop in front of any man or in someone’s house...

Do the senior senators haze the freshman senators?

August 1? More like October 1! What’s the deal,...

“My friend Nate told me a story about an aquarium in New...”
— Julie Klausner, on her blog.

Catherine: I get the package deal and then add to it. This time i brought like 20 5-lb bags of veggies, 25 5-lb bags of fruit, 300 lbs of bacon and 50 lbs of ham.
Catherine: I also brought 5 pigs and a milk cow.
Catherine: and lots of extra guns and bullets.
Catherine: So i feel like we'll be better off. I'm a doctor, and the only people with me are Jessica and Kay.
Me: haha!
Catherine: Oops, you just suffered burns because of a prairie fire. but don't worry, i brought aloe!

Making my way out west...

turbosub: I’ve been playing Oregon Trail 5 a lot lately. Now, I’m not sure how accurate the game...

A Lab Is Set to Test the Gender of Some Female Athletes Some female athletes?  “Organizers of...

“the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and...”
— How to build Self-Discipline...

Oh my god. This one is way better!

I love dollhouses! I always have and always will no matter...

You guys should date. It’s meant to be!

I saw a squirrel with a hairless tail on the way to work...

ianbroyles: Sad or cool that I recoginse the childhood photo...

“I still remember when I came for shooting and I was wearing...”
— Akshay Kumar talking about...

nathangotsch: How I learned about the earthquake in LA  So...

Maariv's publication of Barack Obama's...

“ALWAYS eat before you are hungry! If you are hungry then you...”
— Nick Gray said this awhile...

amandalynferri: This is happening tomorrow night after Jen...

I had left overs from Mississippi Pizza all wrapped up and ready to go for lunch today but I forgot...

Eggs, Toast, and Lovin

malty: I fell in love with my waiter at brunch on Sat. We talked about the how Italian my name is...

Hypothetically: If your neighbors fight all the time outside your window and one time the girl has a...

Blazers word cloud made with Wordle! Wordle is really fun. I...

Step Brothers...

… sucked. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are clearly best gal pals. At this point...

Wow, he must be so impressed with me.

Me: Hey, again, sorry for the brattiness last night. Turns out I was on a bit of a bitchy rampage.
Me: Got mad at you about the seat thing.
Me: Gave a security guard a double middle finger.
Me: Said "fuck you" to Kay.
Me: I was kinda terrible.
Guy I went to High School with who I did not intend to IM and haven’t spoken to in a few years: ? I think you meant to say that to someone else…

malty: Yeah, I’m a Portland Girl (please note the...

So I gave the ol’ double middle finger to this annoying guy in a Hawaiian shirt last night. He...

I told my boss about Slydial at after work drinks yesterday. He and my coworker (and her husband)...

thewordunheard: (via) Cute! And so do I! This...

lifeofbk: Hi, I’m Cymothoa Exigua. I go into the mouths of...

anjalouise: Pure Lard (via viviennestrauss) “we found this...

I drew a diagram to show just how gross and messed up my...

malty: I like to have fresh flowers but my problem is that they die really fast. I mean, I know they...

Hey, new shoes! I like that you were $8, but you are...

Terminator Salvation trailer

Nascar makes womens’ shoes? Really?

Fork+ Knife+ Spoon= Fonifoon? Spooknifork?

OH my gosh.

obamaporn: Thanks, Heather!  Cool! I love this guy.

Talking Crap on the Elevator

Too-Tan Guy with Creepy Perfect Eye Brows: She talks so much crap about people. Too-Tan Girl with...

Extras

Portland is not a small town, but it ain’t big either. As a result, you are likely to run into...

Good news

I went to the Trimet office and told the woman behind the counter about the problem with my bus...

Mad + Embarrassed + Public = Crying

Why does Mad + Embarrassed + Public = Crying for me? What a frustrating, useless reaction! If I’m...

It’s officially summer

3G

Girlfriend: I'm getting the 3 gig iPhone
Me: There is no 3 gig iPhone
Girlfriend: yes there is, it said so
Me: what said so
Girlfriend: its 3 gigabite
Me: no it isn't
Me: it's 8 and 16. there used to be a 4
Girlfriend: shut up, go to ATT dot com, I know it's 3 gig
Me: I'm right, trust me
Girlfriend: no, 3G, 3 gig
Me: [copious laughter]
Girlfriend: oh, what is the gig symbol?
Me: you are ridiculous
I would love to say that I didn't think the exact thing, but.................

I am S.N.O.B. #80

billcameron: Someone signed me up as an Enthusiast Member of the Oregon Brewers Guild, which...

anjalouise: Listening to the She & Him album right now....

abbyroad: no, it can’t be true.  f’real?

Today's Correspondence:

Dear US Bank, Thanks for sending statements printed within .5 mms of the very edge of the paper....

anjalouise: Ugh, I hate smarmy stranger dudes so much! I was walking down the street downtown and a...

I wrote a letter to OPB yesterday telling them about how much I hate the BBC’s World Have Your...

celebzaredum: First Ever Pic of Jamie Lynn’s Baby “Being a...

kmikeym: BLDGBLOG: London is swimming  Pretty amazing...

fatmanatee: The new resealable packaging for Oreos and Fig...

I just came across an old list: Spinach Grapes Almonds Cayenne Avocado Iron Pants Took me a second...

sweett: views from my hammock (via islebehere)

What health benefits, exactly, is Activia yogurt supposed to offer?

My Tried-and-True Karaoke Repertoire: En Vogue- This Love (Never Gonna Get It) The Presidents of...

My mom likes to sign her emails “Momster.com”

jackieheartsb: I’m working part of the day and then going...

fatmanatee: malty: Kevin makes my gchat away face....

Fun little interactive quiz from Slate.com. My answers...

FOX News Gets Ugly

When we make ice cubes at work they always form these funny...

Sometimes crows like to have parties on the roof outside my...

I rode Portland’s Aerial Tram the other night for the...

So… this morning I received eight messages from vimeo user jessica marty. Seven of them just...

Angry Chicken has a homemade deodorant recipe that looks...

Fun fact: Today is my birthday! Hey!

“I think she is a bitch and a whore.”
— Pamela Anderson’s...

anjalouise: Neat 1920’s school fraternity party photos...

Than Vs. Then

The easiest way to remember the difference is that “then” refers to sequence, and...

dreamweaver: Being forced to eat your own vomit is probably one of the worst experiences a  human...

Muscled out

Catherine and I met for beers at Bonfire yesterd