Jessica C.

To the man who makes my coffee:

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:53:46 -0700

I know this is nit-picky. I worked at a coffee shop for a long time and I should know better than to complain about this sort of thing.

Still.

Every time I come into your shop, I order an americano and you ask me if I want room. I say, “No room.” Invariably, you then hand me a drink with no fewer than 2 and a half inches of air at the top and announce loudly, “Americano with room!”

I’m beginning to feel like you are playing a joke on me!

Today when I ordered my americano and you asked, “Room?” I wanted to laugh and reply, “Coffee Man, you and I both know that I will get room whether I ask for it or not. Let’s not waste time with this silly song and dance about room. Just give me my half-full cup of coffee and I will add water to it at work like I do every day.”

Instead I said, “No room” and was subsequently handed a drink with… of course… room.

I think maybe I just look like someone who takes cream in her coffee. So be it.

He'll probably be like, 'Vote for me and I'll make everyone go to bed early. Derr, derr, derr.'"

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:01:53 -0700

He'll probably be like, 'Vote for me and I'll make everyone go to bed early. Derr, derr, derr.'"

"When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. When I turned forty, I didn’t care what..."

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:57:21 -0700

“When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. When I turned forty, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. And then I made it to sixty, and I realized no one was ever thinking of me.”

- quote from Bob Hope, from the graduation speech Patton Oswald gave to this year’s graduating class at his high school. Ricky just posted about it, and the speech is really worth the read… but, only if you like things that are smart and funny and inspiring. Maybe you hate that stuff. I don’t know!

About Michael Phelps...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:16:00 -0700

Apparently, my friend Miriam wants to punch him in the face because he beat up a friend’s little brother when they were in High School.

Catherine: So, in order of excitedness:

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:51:01 -0700

Catherine: So, in order of excitedness:
Catherine: 1. Having the weekend off.
Catherine: 2. Shopping for clothes.
Catherine: 3. Dancing.
Catherine: 4. Hangover the next day.
Catherine: The gap between 3 and 4 is pretty big though.

Hippocamp

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:18:00 -0700

Last night I had a dream that Jake Gyllenhaal was reporting live from a beach on the Gulf coast. Suddenly a huge white horse with a fish tail (or, as I kept obnoxiously reminding people in my dream, a hippocamp) surged out of the waves and attacked him, chewing his legs off at the hip.

Gyllenhaal survived the attack and decided to have a fish tail installed as his new lower half in honor of his attacker.

Good morning!

"I love that minton, by the way. Its so bad it’s good."

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:02:00 -0700

“I love that minton, by the way. Its so bad it’s good.”

- Kevin

"The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, then walk..."

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:01:12 -0700

“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation that you ever had.”

- Anonymous (via onherway)

Apparently this stupid quote is Radar-worthy. You know what I think the best kind of friend is? The kind of friend who I actually do have a great conversation with. Some of these “inspirational” quotes that get passed around are just pathetic.

anjalouise: Some new things in my etsy shop. 15% off sale still...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:21:45 -0700

anjalouise:

Some new things in my etsy shop. 15% off sale still happening!

Anja has a LOT of cute shoes in her shop right now for ladies with smaller feet than mine.

Dear New York City snake owner,

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:12:17 -0700

annamarie:

Hi. I am not afraid of snakes, actually I am severely snake phobic. Yes, it is an irrational fear that has both mental and physical effects. I am writing this because I’m wondering why you choose to walk around the streets holding your pet snake around your neck. It’s not a dog, it’s not cute and cuddly, it’s a reptile that causes varying degrees of fear in many of people.

I’m going to explain to you exactly what it feels like, as one who is snake phobic, to see you carrying your snake on the street, so maybe the next time you think about taking it out for a walk you decide against it.

I walk out of a store and see you carrying your large pet snake. Immediately I lose the ability to walk because of the initial surprise. Then, my entire body goes hot and I start to panic. Depending on the size and color (I’m generally most terrified of dark spotted boa constrictors. For some reason the yellow and white ones don’t bother me as much) I may start to cry. These tears are 100% completely uncontrollable. At this point I’m also nauseous. After panic has set it my next instinct is to get my feet off the ground, because I have now convinced myself that there are snakes all over the ground. I’m in a predicament because I can’t get my feet of the ground without sitting, but I also need to get away from the situation as fast a possible. Panic gets worse. I decide it’s best to hail a cab, but as I’m about to get in my brain tells me that there may be snakes in the cab and being in an enclosed place while panicking is much worse than being outside. If I get in the cab there might be snakes in the front seat, on the floor, or by the back windshield. I would then be trapped in a cab with snakes. I forget the cab and decide that walking fast is the best bet. Every time I have to stop at a crosswalk I panic that I will see another snake. Once I get home I am able to sit down but I keep looking under the table periodically to see if there are snakes on the ground.

So yeah, that’s what happens when you bring your snake out onto the streets. It doesn’t feel very good so maybe next time you can just leave it at home.

thanks.

I’m sure that having a severe snake phobia is a terrible thing to have to deal with, but imagine if you felt this way about dogs? I think many people do, whether becayse they were attacked at some point, or simply because they have a phobia. Dogs are everywhere! And many owners feel that they should be allowed to let their dogs run around off leash.

I’m not at all afraid of dogs, but I’ve thought about this before when I’ve seen people letting their dogs off leash in public places. I think it’s terribly inconsiderate.

Scrapbooking is so silly. Look at this! The only portion of this...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:20:01 -0700

Scrapbooking is so silly. Look at this! The only portion of this page that anyone will ever have any interest in is the picture. If you were looking through a photo album you would want to know things like, who is this? What year was this taken? Maybe, where was the picture taken?

No one will care about the fancy paper or goofy fonts.

This is a hobby I really don’t get.

You know what? I totally have a crush on Stringer Bell. I...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:07:38 -0700

You know what? I totally have a crush on Stringer Bell. I basically love him.

I’m on Season 3 right now.

Robot Jessica

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:40:03 -0700

I had a massive copy project to complete on Friday afternoon. A foot-tall pile of documents, every ten pages or so paperclipped or stapled. I decided that the best way to get it done was to pretend to be a robot!

Robot Jessica was SO much more efficient then Human Jessica would have been. Robot Jessica was programmed only for making copies, so she was very expeditious. No moment was wasted. She didn’t have to take breaks to attend to human needslike going to the bathroom or buying a tuna fish sandwich at the deli downstairs (although Robot Jessica did eat a few circus animal cookies, BUT only when she could do it without compromising her efficiency. Even robots need fuel). The only problem occurred when her robot partner, the copy machine, decided to jam. Then Human Jessica had to use her human brain to figure out where the heck the jam was, but it all worked out in the end.

Robot Jessica completed the project in one hour and fifteen minutes. As a result, Human Jessica got to go home two hours early!

Playing pretend is vastly underrated.

Degrassi: The Next Generation

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:38:00 -0700

There have been a lot of mentions of D:TNG lately and I just want to say: I LOVE THAT SHOW! Catherine, Kay and I spent last winter catching up on seasons via Netflix (which has yielded a lot of angsty teen dramas landing in my “Movies You’ll Love” section). We’re probably still two seasons behind. It’s tough to catch it on The N, especially when you don’t have cable.

Anyway, we all have Degrassi boyfriends! Mine was Spinner, but then he got that terrible terrible haircut in Season 3, so I dumped him for Sean (Oooo, nice picture, huh? I came across pictures of him from Season 6 and his hair is looking pretty gross now, too. I might have to dump him). Catherine’s is Craig, because she’s a bitch. Kay’s is Jimmy.

If you want one, you can have Toby. HA!

EDIT: I now feel creepy for saying “nice picture” since Sean is clearly a preteen boy there. Hopefully no one really thinks I’m a child molester. You’d understand if you watched D:TNG.

Sunday:

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:47:45 -0700

Laundry: Done.

Bedroom: Clean.

Nap: Taken.

Badminton: Played.

Pitchers: Shared.

I feel like I totally kicked this Sunday’s ass.

"What if this was the event you were great at? Like, I’m not all that good at just running..."

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:38:26 -0700

“What if this was the event you were great at? Like, I’m not all that good at just running around a track, but add a puddle of water to jump through and I’m amazing!”

- Catherine, on the Steeplechase.

I had no idea....

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 14:55:08 -0700

the trampoline was an Olympic event!

Wouldn’t it be awesome if the competitors yelled “WHEEEEEEE!!!” with every bounce?

I would!

Four Digits

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:23:21 -0700

I cannot remember my bike lock combination! I know it is four digits. I picked it four years ago, so it has to be a four digit number that existed in my life, and that I considered significant at that time. I forgot it and then remembered it again two years ago, so I know I can do it if I just think really hard…

Numbers I have tried:

Last 4 of my social
Last 4 of my phone number
Last 4 of my home phone number growing up
Address of the house I grew up in
Address of the apartment I lived in when I got the lock
ATM PIN
My mom’s ATM PIN (my mom has one 4 digit code that she uses in every aspect of her life. I wish I did, too, because then it would probably be my bike lock code.)
The year I was born.
My birthdate.

I’m out of ideas! What else could it be?! Ugh!

This problem does not prevent me from riding my bike. It just prevents me from locking it up because I feel so certain that I can figure this code out that I can’t bring myself to buy a new lock.

"I dream of the thinking woman’s Gwen Stefani, whoever that may be, coming out with the..."

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:26:13 -0700

“I dream of the thinking woman’s Gwen Stefani, whoever that may be, coming out with the groundbreaking single: “I Ain’t No Houellebecq Girl.””

- My coworker Niti (via oomb)

ianlee: this is the most accurate i’ve ever seen this thing.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:06:43 -0700

ianlee:

this is the most accurate i’ve ever seen this thing.